Showing posts with label forgiveandforget. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forgiveandforget. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Would you continue to work with a partner that caused problems in your life and stole from you?

Forgetting about the past does not mean forgetting the lessons from the past. The lesson may be to not do business with someone again.

"...[I]t is important to differentiate between forgiveness and trusting someone again.... So you may be willing to forgive a business that messed up a deal but nevertheless decide not to work with that business again. Or forgive an abusive partner, but never be in a relationship with that person again. Or even forgive those who committed a crime against you, but still believe they should be punished."
- Alina Tugend, Sometimes It’s Good Not to Forgive
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/23/your-money/why-its-not-always-good-to-forgive.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Monday, August 31, 2015

For some, forgiving is forgetting.

"I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive.  Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one."
- Henry Ward Beecher
This seems to make sense:

"Forgiveness is not forgetting. 'Forgive and forget' seem to go together. However, the process of forgiving involves acknowledging to yourself the wrong that was done to you, reflecting on it, and deciding how you want to think about it. Focusing on forgetting a wrong might lead to denying or suppressing feelings about it, which is not the same as forgiveness. Forgiveness has taken place when you can remember the wrong that was done without feeling resentment or a desire to pursue revenge. Sometimes, after we get to this point, we may forget about some of the wrongs people have done to us. But we don’t have to forget in order to forgive.
- http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/topic/forgiveness/understanding-forgiveness

"Forgetting is something that time takes care of, but forgiveness is an act of volition, and only the sufferer is qualified to make the decision."
- Simon Wiesenthal