Remembering the devastation and lives lost on 9/11/2001.

"Cool it....Use your anger wisely."
- From the song 'Keep a Cool Head' by Reel Big Fish
https://youtu.be/TIuP2_xSXbk

"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few; and let those be well-tried before you give them your confidence."
- George Washington

"Dealing with backstabbers, there was one thing I learned. They're only powerful when you got your back turned."
- Eminem

"You're  right. People do lie, and cheat, and stab you in the back. There will be people who use you, and don't love you even though they say they do. But you can't let that stop you from living. Because there are people out there who do love you, and would never hurt you. You have to find those people and keep them in your life forever."
- J. Johnson

"Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too."
- Will Smith

In the movie Stepmom, do you think the stepmom kept a level head when mom infuriated her?

Movie: Stepmom
https://youtu.be/sl8t5HNDUjo

"One must always try to see the truth of a situation - it makes things universal."
- V. S. Naipaul

"I teach people that no matter what the situation is, no matter how chaotic, no matter how much drama is around you, you can heal by your presence if you just stay within your center."
- Deepak Chopra

"I've always had that knack for staying pretty even keel and the more the situation gets tense the more I see things clearly and I think that's just a knack that I've always had."
- Tiger Woods

"I believe the ability to think is blessed. If you can think about a situation, you can deal with it. The big struggle is to keep your head clear enough to think."
- Richard Pryor

Are you a hothead (someone who gets angry or agitated easily)?
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hothead
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hothead

Keep your cool / Keep your head (Idiom) - Remain calm in a difficult situation
http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/keep+head

#MainMessageForToday
It helps when you maintain a level head when others make life difficult for you. 

Humor or just handling the situation in a very bad way?

"Oh, and he don't know...
That I dug my key into the side
of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats."
- From the song 'Before He Cheats' by Carrie Underwood
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaSy8yy-mr8

Humor could also be used to annoy your enemies....

Clip from the movie 'The Golden Child'
https://youtu.be/o50HHf9f_SQ

Humor can sway others to see things your way in a non-threatening way....

Clip from the movie 'The Mask'
https://youtu.be/RJGaYLhgWLs

"Sometimes the situation is only a problem because it is looked at in a certain way. Looked at in another way, the right course of action may be so obvious that the problem no longer exists."
- Edward de Bono

"Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them."
- Simon Wiesenthal

"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it."
- Bill Cosby

"If evil be said of thee, and if it be true, correct thyself; if it be a lie, laugh at it."
- Epictetus

#MainMessageForToday
Are you a happy-go-lucky person? How do happy-go-lucky people deal with difficult people?

From the song 'Take a Bow' by Rihanna:

Don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not,
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught.
But you put on quite a show,
Really had me going,
But now it's time to go,
Curtain's finally closing.
That was quite a show,
Very entertaining.
But it's over now,
Go on and take a bow.
Grab your clothes and get gone,
You better hurry up
Before the sprinklers come on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3UjJ4wKLkg

Is it easier to love your enemies if you love yourself first?......

"One of the lessons that I grew up with was to always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody else says distract you from your goals. And so when I hear about negative and false attacks, I really don't invest any energy in them, because I know who I am."
- Michelle Obama

"I think every girl needs to love herself, regardless of anything. Like if you're having a bad day, if you don't like your hair, if you don't have the best family situation, whatever, you have to love yourself and you can't do anything until you love yourself first."
- Julianne Hough

"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition."
- Martha Washington

"But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back."
- Holy Bible (NIV), Luke 6:27-30

"Love is needing someone. Love is putting up with someone's bad qualities because they somehow complete you."
- Sarah Dessen

"In my culture, there's a tradition that when you're in an overwhelming situation and you don't know what to do, you put yourself in a woman's shoes."
- Ang Lee

"Do not forget small kindnesses and do not remember small faults."
- Chinese Proverb

"Treat those who are good with goodness, and also treat those who are not good with goodness. Thus goodness is attained. Be honest to those who are honest, and be also honest to those who are not honest. Thus honesty is attained."
- Lao Tzu

"Good manners sometimes means simply putting up with other people's bad manners."
- H Jackson Brown Jr.

"The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is the knack of getting along with people."
- Theodore Roosevelt

#MainMessageForToday
In life, you have to get along with difficult people and put up with bad behavior. Is it best to overlook some faults just to get along with others?

From the song 'A Time For Letting Go' by Michael Bolton:

Sometimes you find out what you wanted
Isn't really what you need,
And the dream and all its promise
Was never meant to be,
All your hopes and desperation
Won't make it like it was,
And you believe the pain will never end
Believe me in time it does.

You've gotta know when love is over,
You've gotta learn to carry on,
And with the world upon your shoulders,
You walk away when hope is gone.
When your golden road has reached the end,
You find a way to start again, you know,
There's a time for love, a time for letting go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKqHWVRhjWg

In the movie Sleeping With The Enemy, Laura did not resist much when her husband mistreated her. She ended up staging her own death to escape him.
Is it sometimes better to resist?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6w-68kXgr_E

Is it best to remain calm and resist lashing out when someone mistreats you?

"It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters."
- Epictetus

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."
- Wayne Dyer

"I resent you for being so shitty to me, but I'm more angry and disappointed with myself for constantly putting up with it."
- Unknown

"I think the worst thing you can do about a situation is nothing."
- Ice Cube

"If you want to be a real human being - a real woman, a real man - you cannot tolerate things which put you to indignation, to outrage. You must stand up. I always say to people, 'Look around; look at what makes you unhappy, what makes you furious, and then engage yourself in some action.'"
- Stephane Hessel

"No matter how negative someone is to you, do not throw their behavior back in their face. To all the mathematicians out there, I do not care which way you look at it, but two negatives do not make a positive."
- Unknown

#MainMessageForToday
To return what someone dishes out to you or not to return what someone dishes out to you, that is the question....

From the song 'I Look To You' By Whitney Houston:

Every road that I've taken,
Lead to my regret.
And I don't know if I'm going to make it,
Nothing to do but lift my head.
I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong,
I look to you.

https://youtu.be/5Pze_mdbOK8

The Holy Bible says to do good to those that hate and despise you. To help those that need help and to give to everyone who asks of you.
But it is very difficult to be nice to people who treat you bad repeatedly and to always give to those that ask for or demand help.
It could feel like others are taking advantage of your kindness and using you.

Question: Where/how do you draw the line between helping someone and allowing someone to take advantage of you?
Response from GotQuestions.org:
http://www.gotquestions.org/taking-advantage.html

"I have walked away from friendships when I've realized that someone smiles to someone's face and talks about them the minute they walk out of a room. I have no room in my life for that kind of negative energy anymore."
- Sophia Bush

"Don't let people disrespect you. My mom says don't open the door to the devil. Surround yourself with positive people."
- Cuba Gooding, Jr.

"... you don't have to wait for someone to treat you bad repeatedly. All it takes is once, and if they get away with it that once, if they know they can treat you like that, then it sets the pattern for the future."
― Jane Green, Bookends

"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian."
- Dennis Wholey

Theme for the week 9/6 - 9/12: Dealing with people and things in the world that make you angry / things that are difficult to forgive,

inspired by this quote from last week:

"You can forgive someone almost anything. But you cannot tolerate everything...We don't have to tolerate what people do just because we forgive them for doing it. Forgiving heals us personally. To tolerate everything only hurts us all in the long run."
- Lewis B. Smedes, Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve