Theme for the week 9/6 - 9/12: Dealing with people and things in the world that make you angry / things that are difficult to forgive,

inspired by this quote from last week:

"You can forgive someone almost anything. But you cannot tolerate everything...We don't have to tolerate what people do just because we forgive them for doing it. Forgiving heals us personally. To tolerate everything only hurts us all in the long run."
- Lewis B. Smedes, Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve

Tina Turner struggled with the decision to leave her husband in the movie 'What's Love Got To Do With It?' It seemed like she forced herself to forgive him.

Movie: What's Love Got To Do With It?
https://youtu.be/Nbzbd2wUGao

"Sometimes choices are made in the name of forgiveness while what is occurring isn't forgiveness at all. It is important not to confuse being forgiving with denying your own feelings, needs, and desires. Forgiving doesn't mean being passive and staying in a job or a relationship that clearly doesn't work for you or is abusive. It is important that you are clear about your boundaries. What is acceptable for you? If you are willing to allow unacceptable behavior again and again in the name of 'forgiveness,' you are more than likely using 'forgiveness' as an excuse not to take responsibility for taking care of yourself or as a way to avoid making changes."
- Robin Casarjian, Forgiveness: A Bold Choice For A Peaceful Heart

"Forgive a wife-slammer if you can. But you don't have to live with him. Forgive a husband who is abusing your children if you can. But only after you kick him out of the house. And if you can't get him out, get help. It's available. In the meantime, don't let him near the kids, and don't let anyone tell you that if you forgive him it means you have to stay with him. [There's an important difference between forgiving a person and tolerating their bad behavior.]"
- Lewis B. Smedes, The Art of Forgiving: When You Need To Forgive And Don't Know How 

#MainMessageForToday
For some, to forgive someone is to effectively tolerate their bad behavior. But forgiving someone for the wrong that they did does not mean that you tolerate their behavior. You can choose to forgive but move on like a wife who forgives her husband for beating her but leaves him. Punishing a person for their bad behavior is one way to show that you do not tolerate it. It could also help with forgiveness.