From the song 'You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)' by Josh Groban:

Don't give up,
It's just the hurt that you hide,
When you're lost inside,
I...I will be there to find you

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright,
If darkness blinds you
I...I will shine to guide you,

Everybody wants to be understood,
Well I can hear you,
Everybody wants to be loved,
Don't give up
Because you are loved.

You are loved.
Don't give up,
It's just the weight of the world,
Don't give up,
Every one needs to be heard,
You are loved.

https://youtu.be/EGLSk3AVcUU

"Fairy tales begin with conflict because we all begin our lives with conflict. We are all misfit for the world, and somehow we must fit in, fit in with other people, and thus we must invent or find the means through communication to satisfy as well as resolve conflicting desires and instincts."
― Jack Zipes, The Irresistible Fairy Tale: The Cultural and Social History of a Genre

"Every person you fight with has many other people in his life with whom he gets along quite well. You cannot look at a person who seems difficult to you without also looking at yourself."
– Jeffrey Kottler

"The only real conflict you will ever have in your life won’t be with others but with yourself."
― Shannon L. Alder

"I had outwardly projected my internal struggle onto my surrounding world, and it was being reflected right back at me, compelling me to notice—refusing to let me bury my head in the sand for the umpteenth time."
- Unknown, Dealing with Conflict: Knowing When the Battle Is Internal
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/dealing-with-conflict-knowing-when-the-battle-is-internal/

"The conflicts we have with the outside world are often conflicts we have within ourselves."
― Bryant McGill, Voice of Reason

"Not only are there as many conflicting truths as there are people to claim them; there are equally multitudinous and conflicting truths within the individual."
- Virgilia Peterson

#MainMessageForToday
We have conflict not only with others but within ourselves. This internal conflict could be the cause of or a major contributing factor to conflict with others.

When others use conflict as a strategy, you just need to hold on.....

From the song "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips:

I know this pain,
Why do lock yourself up in these chains?
No one can change your life except for you,
Don't ever let anyone step all over you.
Just open your heart and your mind,
Is it really fair to feel this way inside?

Some day somebody's gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye,
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry,
Don't you know?
Don't you know things can change,
Things'll go your way,
If you hold on for one more day.
Can you hold on for one more day,
Things'll go your way,
Hold on for one more day.

https://youtu.be/uIbXvaE39wM

#MainMessageForToday
Conflict can cause so many problems for an individual. Individuals in conflict with others may feel disrespected, marginalized, and/or oppressed. It can cause a person to lose interest and withdraw from activities (just quit). 

She learned from the best - the person who wronged her and caused her pain....

"Baby, I learned the way to break a heart.
I learned from the best, I learned from you"
- From the song 'I Learned From The Best' by Whitney Houston
https://youtu.be/YFVnVuTcz9I

"Conflict builds character. Crisis defines it."
— Steven V. Thulon

"Conflict lies at the core of innovation."
— Emanuel R. Piore

"If necessity is the mother of invention, conflict is its father."
— Kenneth Kaye

"Don’t be afraid of opposition. Remember, a kite rises against, not with, the wind."
– Hamilton Mabie

In the movie '13 Going On 30,' there was conflict in the office. Jenna overheard two co-workers planning to cause her downfall. Wanting to prove and save herself, she hired her former best friend, Matt, to take photographs for a "different" project. The project was a huge success.

Clip from the movie:
https://youtu.be/97Cejesk1u0

"Conflict is necessary for effective problem solving and for effective interpersonal relationships."
- Susan M. Heathfield, Fight for What's Right: Ten Tips to Encourage Meaningful Conflict
http://humanresources.about.com/od/conflictresolution/a/fightforright.htm

"Conflict is neither good nor bad. Properly managed, it is absolutely vital."
— Kenneth Kaye

"Every conflict we face in life is rich with positive and negative potential. It can be a source of inspiration, enlightenment, learning, transformation, and growth–or rage, fear, shame, entrapment, and resistance. The choice is not up to our opponents, but to us, and our willingness to face and work through them."
– Kenneth Cloke and Joan Goldsmith

#MainMessageForToday
Conflict is not all negative. Conflict can motivate and lead to innovation. It also builds character.

I like this response to the brewing conflict:

"I'm sorry I don't understand
Where all of this is coming from,
I thought that we were fine.
Your head is running wild again,
My dear we still have everything
And it's all in your mind."
- From the song 'Just Give Me A Reason' by Pink and Nate Ruess

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpQFFLBMEPI

Do you believe angry people could deal with conflict effectively?
In the first clip, Madea, known as an angry person who is always in trouble, wanted to fight. She even destroyed the sofa. In the second, she was less confrontational and did not beat on Dr. Phil like she usually does. Do you think she handled the interview with Dr. Phil well? 

Clip 1 from movie 'Diary of a Mad Black Woman':
https://youtu.be/jNyw39a0qnc

Clip 2 from the movie 'Madea Goes To Jail':
https://youtu.be/AHsBK722Yqw

"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow."
– Carol Tavris

"Conflict cannot survive without your participation."
- Wayne Dyer

"It takes two to quarrel, but only one to end it."
– Spanish Proverb

"He who cannot agree with his enemies is controlled by them."
– Chinese Proverb

"The test of a successful person is not an ability to eliminate all problems before they arise, but to meet and work out difficulties when they do arise."
– David J. Schwartz

"Good men are remembered for their friends. Great men are remembered for their enemies. The greatest men are those who turn their enemies into friends."
― M. Todd Gallowglas, Judge of Dooms

"Do not think of knocking out another person's brains because he differs in opinion from you. It would be as rational to knock yourself on the head because you differ from yourself ten years ago."
- Horace Mann

#MainMessageForToday
Conflict is inevitable, but it does not have to be destructive. It is important to deal with conflict effectively.

"Get up, stand up, stand up for your right,
Get up, stand up, don't give up the fight."
- From the song 'Get Up Stand Up' by Bob Marley

https://youtu.be/q7iXcKKpdx0

Both men were fighting for something, which led to an intense scene....

Clip from the movie 'A Few Good Men':
https://youtu.be/9FnO3igOkOk

"If we don't fight for what we 'stand for' with our passionate words and honest actions, do we really 'stand' for anything?"
- Tiffany Madison, Black and White

"When you're silent, your silence condones it. Thus, whatever you believe in goes down the drain."
- Jennifer Tindugan-Adoviso

"If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything."
- Malcolm X

"Stand up for what you believe in, even if you stand alone."
― Andy Biersack

"If you stand for something you will have people for you and people against you. But if you stand for nothing you will have nobody for you and nobody against you.
- Maurice Saatchi

"If I've learned one thing in life, it's: Stand for something or you'll fall for anything."
- Bonnie Hunt

#MainMessageForToday
Standing up for something means you show your support for it rather than hide your views or pretend to be indifferent. Taking a stance, especially the opposing view, is likely to lead to conflict.

Let There Be Peace On Earth....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPH4LRASWbo

"Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict -- alternatives to passive or aggressive responses, alternatives to violence."
- Dorothy Thompson

"Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means."
- Ronald Reagan

One of the many conflicts on Project Runway:

Timothy and Miranda
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdGYpx9P_5w

"I’ve always believed that a lot of the troubles in the world would disappear if we were talking to each other instead of about each other."
- Ronald Reagan

"Avoiding conflict isn’t peacemaking. Avoiding conflict means running away from the mess while peacemaking means running into the middle of it. Peacemaking means addressing those issues that caused conflict in the first place."
- Unknown

#MainMessageForToday
Pretending everything is okay is one way to avoid conflict. "I will pretend this doesn't bother me because I don't want to start a fight," you might say. It is better to address the issues.

Theme for the week 9/27 - 10/3: Conflict.