Song 'The Gambler' by Kenny Rogers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn481KcjvMo

"The Gambler" Principles (based on the song by Kenny Rogers)
by John Di Frances, Negotiate like a Gambler   

- You got to know when to hold 'em:

Negotiation necessitates that you have the patience and confidence to be still. If the other party perpetuates a long silence, wait, that's right, just simply w-a-i-t. Let them break the silence. If it is truly a relationship, they will. Remain steadfast, solemn, but not sullen, and wait. Hold out firmly for your high priority/risk issues.

- Know when to fold 'em:

Holding out for a lost cause is not only against your best interest, but it also makes you seem stubborn and foolish. Know when to give in on a point. If it is not a "walk-away" issue, then concede graciously and continue to negotiate.

- Know when to walk away:

If the deal cannot be obtained without violating your prior walk-away decision, then walk-away, but just walk. Clearly express your position and reasons, then leave courteously, letting the other party know that you mean what you say, but are still leaving the door open for them to reopen the discussion after conceding to your walk-away issue(s). Never, never re-evaluate your "walk-away" position while sitting at the table. I have seen this done too many times under the guise of "new information," a code phrase for "giving in." If, indeed, completely new facts come to light, then take the time to recess, get away, preferably for a few days, or at a minimum, overnight. It is too simple to convince oneself that you should alter your "walk-away" position when you see the negotiation going down in flames. Remember, the whole reason for developing "walk-away" positions well ahead of the negotiation, was to prevent being pressured into giving up ground on these critical issues an inch at a time. This is an instance where unless the other party reconsiders, you will be far better served strategically in the future by building a new relationship or looking for another way of accomplishing your goal, despite the momentary discomfort. Face the fact today that the relationship is no longer mutually beneficial and move on.

- Know when to run:

Run? Yes, run, when the other party demonstrates bad faith or a lack of regard for the truth. No business relationship is worth the risk and the inevitable pain that results from dealing with disreputable people and organizations. After all, would you continue playing cards with someone after you learned that they were using a marked deck? Run! Do not walk, and do not leave the door open behind you. Make them understand that you have no time or interest in doing business with those who do not understand the meaning of the words TRUTH and INTEGRITY.

You never count your money
When you're sittin' at the table
Ther'll be time enough for countin'
When the dealin's done

Never talk openly about how much you or your company will profit from the deal and never, never gloat over the terms of the agreement afterward. Both are evidence of bad taste and a severe lack of personal discretion. Also, news like that has a habit of reverberating around. I have seen successful negotiations sour after the fact because someone with loose lips slips an indiscreet comment that leads the other party to believe they had been taken advantage of or misled. On the positive side, do celebrate the outcome together with the other party at the conclusion of the deal. Go out together to lunch, dinner or whatever. In doing, so you celebrate the success of everyone involved and thereby further reinforce the relationship for the future!

Read more at: http://www.negotiations.com/articles/business-negotiation/

"Although gambling and negotiating are not similar, we can learn a great deal from Kenny's straight-faced poker player."
- John Di Frances, Negotiate like a Gambler

When negotiating, do you "lay your cards on the table"? Do you "beat around the bush"?
Try not to "cave in to" the other side.
See negotiation idioms here: http://www.idiomconnection.com/negotiations.html

#MainMessageForToday
Negotiations are better when you have a strategy.

Negotiating may or may not be tough for an emotional person.....

From the song 'Emotional' by Diana DeGarmo:

Sometimes I get emotional,
Sometimes I do some stupid things,
Sometimes I say what I should just keep inside,
Sometimes I'm sad about everything.
Sometimes I'm mad and break some things,
Sorry times 10 but you just got in the way.

https://youtu.be/MJ2ao4AY89s

"[I]n close relationships, when you identify with the other person, expressing disappointment can be an effective negotiating strategy. It avoids the negative connotations of anger and protects the ongoing relationship, which could explain why it’s often used (to great effect) in parent-child bargaining. The research also serves as a warning: don’t expect disappointment to have any sway on negotiations with strangers or when your opponent is acting on behalf of others. In those situations, threats or hard bargaining tactics are your safest bet."
- Sebastian Bailey, Using Emotion To Win Negotiations
http://www.forbes.com/sites/sebastianbailey/2013/10/22/using-emotion-to-win-negotiations/

"[W]hile some people boil over in negotiations, others freeze up."
- Kimberlyn Leary, Julianna Pillemer, and Michael Wheeler, Negotiating with Emotion
http://hbr.org/2013/01/negotiating-with-emotion/ar/1

“Anger can be an effective negotiating tool, but only as a calculated act, never as a reaction.”
– Mark McCormack

“The most difficult thing in any negotiation, almost, is making sure that you strip it of the emotion and deal with the facts. And there was a considerable challenge to that here and understandably so.”
- Howard Baker

Taking things personally
“During a negotiation, it would be wise not to take anything personally. If you leave personalities out of it, you will be able to see opportunities more objectively.”
– Brian Koslow

#MainMessageForToday
Be careful with emotion in negotiation. For example, it is better not to get angry. But, anger can be an effective negotiation strategy.

Both parties should see eye to eye....

Song 'Eye To Eye' by Tevin Campbell:
https://youtu.be/TAuCpdCn3gc

"One must know the difference between negotiating and begging. Do not stoop too low to get a deal closed. Negotiation must be in a dignified way."
- ManagementStudyGuide.com
http://managementstudyguide.com/negotiation-techniques.htm

"Negotiation is a synonym for trading — you give me some of what I want, and I'll give you some of what you want. Ask questions and listen carefully to understand what they want. Then, you can ask for what you want in return. Try to present options that offer win-win solutions.
Don't bother explaining details of why the deal is good for you. Your whole pitch should be focused on why the deal is good for them."
- Bob Papes, Art of negotiation: Be willing to give in order to get
http://www.blueridgenow.com/article/20111010/NEWS/111019993

"Place a higher priority on discovering what a win looks like for the other person."
- Harvey Robbins

"There is only one way . . . to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making the other person want to do it."
- Dale Carnegie

In her talk, Maria Ploumaki described how difficult it can be to move a buck (the animal). Her father tried unsuccessfully. Her mother knew to hold the beard, which is the most sensitive area.

The Art Of Negotiation By Maria Ploumaki:
https://youtu.be/pjlPgJ1wBdM

People will tell you No (you can't have something, you can't do something, or something is not available). You need to negotiate to get a Yes. In short, do not take No for an answer.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/take-no-for-an-answer--not

Sounds like a negotiation to me.....

From 'Irreplaceable' by Beyonce Knowles:

Standing in the front yard
Telling me how I'm such a fool,
Talking 'bout
I'll never ever find a man like you,
You got me twisted.

You must not know 'bout me,
You must not know 'bout me.
I can have another you in a minute,
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EwViQxSJJQ

"Everything is negotiable. Whether or not the negotiation is easy is another thing."
- Carrie Fisher

"Relationships are a constant negotiation and balance."
- Claire Danes

"So much of life is a negotiation - so even if you're not in business, you have opportunities to practice all around you."
- Kevin O'Leary

"You do not get what you want. You get what you negotiate."
- Harvey Mackay

"In business, you don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate."
- Chester L. Karrass

#MainMessageForToday
You need good negotiation skills because much of life is a negotiation.

Theme for the week 11/1 - 11/7: Negotiation.