Persuasion.....not always what you expect

Movie Examples:

Sabrina
https://youtu.be/twTksx_lWB4

While You Were Sleeping
https://youtu.be/d3RSYSsgz3w

Is love different?

From the song 'I Can't Make You Love Me' by Bonnie Raitt:

Turn down the lights,
Turn down the bed,
Turn down these voices inside my head.
Lay down with me,
Tell me no lies,
Just hold me close, don't patronize.
Don't patronize me,
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't.
You can't make your heart feel something it won't.
Here in the dark, in these final hours,
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power,
But you won't, no you won't,
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nW9Cu6GYqxo

Persuasion - one of the 7 key traits/talents for success....

Article "7 Key Traits And Talents For Success"
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/7-key-traits-talents-success-fahmeenaodetta-moore

Song 'Suddenly I See'

Suddenly I see,
This is what I wanna be,
Suddenly I see,
Why the hell it means so much to me
Suddenly I see...

https://youtu.be/ThaW-YMFVus

Very persuasive.....

Song 'I Believe In You And Me' by Whitney Houston:

I Believe In You and Me
I Believe That we will be
In love eternally
Well as far as I can see
You Will Always be the one
For me (Oh yes, you will)

And I believe in dreams again
I believe that love will never end
And like the river finds the sea
I was lost, now I'm free
Cuz I believe In you and me

I will never leave your side
I will never hurt your pride
When all the chips are down, baby
Then I will always be around
Just to be right where you are
My love, you know I love you, boy

I will never leave you out
I will always let you in, boy
To places no-one's ever been
Deep inside, can't you see?
That I believe in you and me

Maybe I'm a fool
To feel the way I do
I will play the fool forever
Just to be with you forever

I believe in miracles
And love is the miracle
And yes, baby you're my dream come true
I was lost, now I'm free,
Oh, baby cuz i believe, i do believe, in you and me
See, I was lost, now I'm free
Cuz I believe in you and me.

https://youtu.be/FQGt6VNm_iQ

“The problem with breaking up with someone, if you are a little unsure — and so often, people are unsure — is that breaking up involves persuasion. You have to persuade your ex that it is better this way for everyone. And this is difficult if you have not entirely persuaded yourself. It is especially tricky to do this if you are also naked, and making two cups of coffee.”
- Adam Thirlwell, Politics

How did the executive persuade Judith to leave her husband to be with him in the movie 'Temptation'?
Movie: Temptation
https://youtu.be/SDfTwu2CgDY

Peer pressure that persuades.....

"But how much quicker would your attitude have adjusted if your best friend had dared you to eat them? Or if eating broccoli had suddenly become the newest craze in your fifth-grade class?
A new form of social data that harnesses the power of peer pressure is emerging as a potentially powerful way to change behavior and spur the growth of new categories of products. It works because peer pressure data goes beyond demonstrating the functions of a product to satisfy deeply powerful emotional or social needs we may not even realize we have."
- Robyn Bolton, The Persuasive Pressure of Peer Rankings, https://hbr.org/2014/05/the-persuasive-pressure-of-peer-rankings/

"The first time I saw my wife, Marjorie, I was doing stand-up in Memphis, and she was sitting in the front row. Afterward, I walked up and said, 'Ma'am, I'm going to marry you one day.' And 15 years later, I did."
- Steve Harvey

A man persuading a woman to marry him.....

"My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me."
- Winston Churchill

#MovieLesson:
How did Sparkle persuade the music executive to sign her in the movie 'Sparkle'?
https://youtu.be/55cuiV9yL6Q

Persuasion and job interviewing

"As I am preparing for the interview, I am recalling the quotes on persuasion I reviewed for the LessonsProject. After all, an interview is about making a good impression and persuading the employer to hire you."
- FahmeenaOdetta Moore, http://moorefo1.blogspot.com/2014/02/at-this-point-i-have-process-for.html

Persuasion in TV, billboard, magazine and other ads

"The goal of advertising is to persuade. First described by Aristotle 2,500 years ago, the three primary rhetorical principles or strategies of persuasion employed by advertisers today are ethos -- persuasion appeals to credibility or trust, logos -- appeals to logic, and pathos -- appeals to emotions."
- George Boykin, Examples of Different Kinds of Persuasion in Advertising

Packaging to persuade (in supermarkets and other stores)

"In a recent BrandSpark International study, we found that only one third of consumers knew exactly which brands they were going to buy on their next visit to the grocery store. A product’s packaging is the last opportunity a marketer has to convince the shopper that their product is superior and worth buying compared to the many options stocked right beside it."
- 7 Principles of Persuasive Packaging, BrandSpark.ca, http://www.brandspark.ca/7-principles-of-persuasive-packaging#.VUMfyJMYE20

PERSUASION EVERYDAY........

From the song 'Eye To Eye' by Sheryl Crow (feat. Keith Richards)

Don't lay your worries on me,
I got my own to keep me company,
Talk is like a worn out suit,
Comes unraveled when it turns cheap.

If we don't see eye to eye,
That doesn't mean that we can't try,
To get along.

https://youtu.be/gCocMSbnM1E

#SongLesson:

From the song 'The Living Years' by MIKE & THE MECHANICS:

You say you just don't see it
He says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defense

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It's the bitterness that lasts

So don't yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different date
And if you don't give up, and don't give in
You may just be O.K.

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agC7SoihH-o

How do you persuade a person who has very different ideas from your own? It is probably not wise to cause a clash by infuriating the person. Contradicting all the person's statements/arguments will likely do this. (You will get a "Talk to the hand" - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk_to_the_hand)

Helps to know what a contradiction is......Did you know that an argument is not the same as a contradiction?
A contradiction (a combination of statements, ideas or features of a situation that contradict or are opposed to one another) sometimes sparks an argument (an exchange of diverging or opposite views).

Watch this funny video on arguments:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y

"People are usually more convinced by reasons they discovered themselves than by those found out by others."
- Blaise Pascal

"You cannot reason people out of a position that they did not reason themselves into."
- Ben Goldacre, Bad Science

"One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears - by listening to them."
- Dean Rusk

Technique: Telling people what they want to hear to persuade them.....
Did the prince utilize this technique in the movie 'Coming To America'?

Clip from the movie:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZQFJ6hZNJc

"I don't know the rules of grammar. If you're trying to persuade people to do something, or buy something, it seems to me you should use their language."
- David Ogilvy 

"Oratory is to be estimated on principles from those which are applied to other productions. Truth is the object of philosophy and history. ... The object of oratory alone is not truth, but persuasion. ...
But the criterion of eloquence is different. A speaker who exhausts the whole philosophy of a question, who displays every grace of style, yet produces no effect on his audience, may be a great essayist, a great statesman, a great master of composition; but he is not an orator."
-Thomas Babington Macaulay, On The Athenian Orators

"Nothing is so unbelievable that oratory cannot make it acceptable."
- Marcus Tullius Cicero

https://www.flickr.com/photos/lessonsproject/16698049854/

"Who speaks to the instincts speaks to the deepest in mankind, and finds the readiest response."
- Amos Bronson Alcott 

"The truth isn’t the truth until people believe you, and they can’t believe you if they don’t know what you’re saying, and they can’t know what you’re saying if they don’t listen to you, and they won’t listen to you if you’re not interesting, and you won’t be interesting unless you say things imaginatively, originally, freshly."
- William Bernbach

"The tongue can paint what the eye can't see."
- Chinese Proverb

When it comes to persuasion, speech ("the talk") is important.
So sometimes, It is not how you look but what you say that is important.
#lifelessonsforalldotcom

Persuasive song 'Make You Feel My Love' by Adele:

When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
And there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
But I will never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
No doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
And I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret.
The winds of change are blowing wild and free,
You ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
To make you feel my love.
To make you feel my love.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLoyNxjhTzc

"Show people what they want most, and they will move heaven and earth to get it."
- Frank Bettger

"To persuade or sell you must solve a person's problem or help them seize an opportunity. "
- Tony Alessandra

How did Nic Wyatt persuade the young Adam Cassidy to become a corporate spy in the movie 'Paranoia'?

Movie: Paranoia
https://youtu.be/kiwTRLwmm4w

"The most fundamental thing about a person is desire. It defines them. Tell me what a person wants, truly wants, and I'll tell you who they are, and how to persuade them."
- Max Barry, Lexicon

"Every man has his price. This is not true. But for every man there exists a bait which he cannot resist swallowing. To win over certain people to something, it is only necessary to give it a gloss of love of humanity, nobility, gentleness, self-sacrifice - and there is nothing you cannot get them to swallow. To their souls, these are the icing, the tidbit; other kinds of souls have others."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Have you heard of sweetening a person?.....

Sweet-talk - to coax, flatter, or cajole (someone).
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/sweet-talk

"More flies are caught with honey than with vinegar." 
- Proverb

"Use soft words and hard arguments."
- English Proverb

https://www.flickr.com/photos/lessonsproject/17307080892/

Science to how we are persuaded......
Video: Science Of Persuasion
https://youtu.be/cFdCzN7RYbw

Video: The art [and science] of persuasion
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hX9LXbf4Dbs

Persuasion - science, art or both?

"Advertising is fundamentally persuasion and persuasion happens to be not a science, but an art."
- William Bernbach

The truth is, some people may not listen to you because you took advantage of them or disrespected them or caused trouble. It is hard to persuade such a person.

"Did you really think that
I would really take you back,
Let you back in my heart one more time,
Oh, No, No.
Did you think that I'd still care
That there'd be more feeling there,
Did you think you could walk back in my life.
So you found you miss the love you threw away,
Baby but you found it out too late. Too Late."
From the song 'I Learned From The Best' by Whitney Houston

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFVnVuTcz9I

Friends, spouses should be supportive and should be there for you....

Did the husband make the wife feel small and not good enough when he left her in the movie 'Waiting To Exhale'?
https://youtu.be/P8DD06w7ml4

#SongLesson

Counting on a friend.....
Song 'Count On Me' by Whitney Houston and CeCe Winans:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ae2iX6vZCoM

"The persuasion of a friend is a strong thing."
- Homer

We usually trust and believe our friends......

"If you wish to win a man over to your ideas, first make him your friend."
- Abraham Lincoln 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/lessonsproject/17292364991/

"Character may almost be called the most effective means of persuasion."
- Aristotle

"The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity."
- Zig Ziglar

On credibility......

"Traditionally, modern, credibility has two key components: trustworthiness and expertise."

- Credibility, From Wikipedia, 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Credibility

"To be persuasive we must be believable;
to be believable we must be credible;
to be credible we must be truthful."
- Edward R. Murrow

"Before someone will be persuaded by you they must trust you, respect you, believe you are very knowledgeable in the subject and that you are interested in finding out what their interests and needs are, and are suggesting to them -- not selling -- the best solution to get the result they want or solve their need or problem."
- Jerry Bruckner, GetSuccessQuotes.com

LifelessonsForAlldotcom: When it comes to persuading others, character counts. A person is more likely to listen to you if you have good character.

Creative, persuasive video inspired by the Gotye video -
'The Star Wars That I Used To Know'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJlbPXZEpRE

"Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done."
- From the song 'Somebody That I Used To Know" by Gotye
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY

"Persuasion is converting people -- no, not to our way of thinking but to our way of feeling and believing."
- Cavett Robert

"What convinces is conviction. Believe in the argument you're advancing. If you don't you're as good as dead. The other person will sense that something isn't there, and no chain of reasoning, no matter how logical or elegant or brilliant, will win your case for you."
- Lyndon B. Johnson

Some consider this the most persuasive closing argument ever -
scene/clip from the movie 'A Time to Kill'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lnRK8QpC14

"Let one who wants to move and convince others, first be convinced and moved themselves. If a person speaks with genuine earnestness the thoughts, the emotion and the actual condition of their own heart, others will listen because we all are knit together by the tie of sympathy."
- Thomas Carlyle 

Transfer of biases, prejudices, feelings?......

People are persuaded more by the depth of your conviction than by the height of your logic -- more by your own enthusiasm than any proof you can offer.
- Cavett Robert

"To succeed in business it is necessary to make others see things as you see them."
- Aristotle Onassis

"Everyone is a salesperson whether they realize it or not. You may not be selling a product or service for money, but in our daily lives each of us are in situations where we need to influence and persuade other people and affect their decisions in favor of our position."
- Jerry Bruckner
 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/lessonsproject/16666774144/

Are you easily persuaded?

Funny episode from Frasier - "Frasier" The Zoo Story
Shows the use of persuasion...





https://youtu.be/OsDAZ3Q_3P8

"The secret is to always let the other man have your way."
- Claiborne Pell 

Do you believe this?

"Roughly speaking, any man with energy and enthusiasm ought to be able to bring at least a dozen others round to his opinion in the course of a year no matter how absurd that opinion might be. We see every day in politics, in business, in social life, large masses of people brought to embrace the most revolutionary ideas, sometimes within a few days. It is all a question of getting hold of them in the right way and working on their weak points. "
- Aleister Crowley 

Persuasion or manipulation....to get out of trouble?

Song 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy:

Persuasion or manipulation?

Tennis class scene from the movie 'Clueless':

Did you know?
Persuasion is not the same as manipulation.

"Both persuaders and manipulators know the how and why of human motivation. And, both utilize their knowledge to cause the action they desire a person to take. However, the crucial difference between the two is that while manipulators use that knowledge to THEIR advantage, the persuader uses it to the OTHER person’s advantage."
- Bob Burg, http://www.burg.com/2010/08/persuasion-vs-manipulation/

"There is only one way to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making the other person want to do it."
- Dale Carnegie

https://flic.kr/p/oUVWj9

"Persuasion is often more effectual than force." - Aesop

"I think the power of persuasion would be the greatest superpower of all time."
- Jenny Mollen

"Not brute force but only persuasion and faith are the kings of this world."
- Thomas Carlyle

Theme for the week 4/26 - 5/2: Persuasion.

#NepalEarthquake