#MainMessageForToday
Emotional intelligence seems to require a person to keep his or her composure in difficult situations and circumstances. In your view, is this pretending everything is okay even if it isn't?
#pretense

Hiding and fighting those feelings/emotions!

From the song 'Can't Fight This Feeling' by Reo Speedwagon:

I can't fight this feeling any longer,
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow,
What started out as friendship has grown stronger,
I only wish I had the strength to let it show.

I tell myself that I can't hold out forever,
I said there is no reason for my fear,
'Cause I feel so secure when we're together,
You give my life direction, You make everything so clear.

And even as I wander
I'm keeping you in sight,
You're a candle in the window
On a cold, dark winter's night,
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might.

And I can't fight this feeling anymore,
I've forgotten what I started fighting for,
It's time to bring this ship into the shore,
And throw away the oars, forever.

'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore,
I've forgotten what I started fighting for,
And if I have to crawl upon the floor,
Come crushing through your door,
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpOULjyy-n8

"Emotional intelligence is important, but the unbridled enthusiasm has obscured a dark side. New evidence shows that when people hone their emotional skills, they become better at manipulating others. When you’re good at controlling your own emotions, you can disguise your true feelings. When you know what others are feeling, you can tug at their heartstrings and motivate them to act against their own best interests.
According to these experts, emotional intelligence helps people disguise one set of emotions while expressing another for personal gain."
- Adam Grant, The Dark Side of Emotional Intelligence
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/01/the-dark-side-of-emotional-intelligence/282720/

Did you know that the way we manage our emotions is stable over time?
According to the following article,  "Our ability to identify and manage our own and others’ emotions is fairly stable over time, influenced by our early childhood experiences and even genetics."
But, we can improve our emotional intelligence through coaching programs.

Can You Really Improve Your Emotional Intelligence?
by Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic
http://blogs.hbr.org/2013/05/can-you-really-improve-your-em/

#MainMessageForToday
Research shows that people who are more emotionally intelligent are more successful. Learning is also easier when the student is emotionally secure. But like everything else, there is a bad side to emotional intelligence. People who can control their emotions well can easily disguise their feelings and/or manipulate others.

"We define emotional intelligence as the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions."
- Salovey and Mayer

The display of emotion varies by culture....

"Take, for example, the expression of enthusiasm. In the United States, it’s culturally acceptable, even admirable, to show enthusiasm in a business setting, assuming it’s appropriate for the situation. When arguing for a point in a meeting, for example, it is quite appropriate to express your opinions passionately; it can help to convince those around you....
In many other cultures, however, enthusiasm means something quite different. In Japan, for example, there are strict boundaries about when and where people are allowed to display emotion. During the regular workday, Japanese individuals are not typically emotionally expressive. Even if they feel excited about their work, they will rarely show it explicitly."
- Andy Molinsky, Emotional Intelligence Doesn’t Translate Across Borders
https://hbr.org/2015/04/emotional-intelligence-doesnt-translate-across-borders

Do you consider yourself to be "emotionally tough"?

"I'm not the type to get my heart broken,
I'm not the type to get upset and cry,
'cause I never leave my heart open,
Never hurts me to say goodbye.
Relationships don't get deep to me,
Never got the whole in love thing,
And someone can say they love me truly,
But at the time it didn't mean a thing."
- From the song 'Cry' by Rihanna

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnMP1oqPTto

Freedman et al.: "Emotional Intelligence is a way of recognizing, understanding, and choosing how we think, feel, and act. It shapes our interactions with others and our understanding of ourselves. It defines how and what we learn; it allows us to set priorities; it determines the majority of our daily actions. Research suggests it is responsible for as much as 80% of the 'success' in our lives."
- From Handle With Care: Emotional Intelligence Activity Book

From the poem/song 'Desiderata':

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
And remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender,
Be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly,
And listen to others,
Even the dull and ignorant,
They too have their story.

http://youtu.be/3bUTcy6w2Rw

"A mature person is one who does not think only in absolutes, who is able to be objective even when stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and things, and who walks humbly and deals charitably."
- Eleanor Roosevelt